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Great Expectations/Script
is running his newest scam. It seems he has gotten hired at a miniature golf course. Jonesy: "That's right, it's singles night! A new way to meet that cuts right to the kiss!" satisfied customer gives him a thumbs-up. "Tell me who you wanna connect with, and I'll give you the time, the place, and five minutes to get acquainted! Okay, who's next?" Wyatt: "Me me me!" Lydia: "Over here!" Nikki: up "So, you finally hit rock bottom." Jonesy: "Excuse me? I happen to be providing a selfless service." Nikki: "Making money providing people with dark creepy places to suck face?" Jonesy: "It's not my fault there aren't enough makeout spots in the mall. This is just a slightly less random version of spin the bottle." money "Date will be in the booth at 8:35. Purple Frog, 8:30! Windmill at 8:35, nope 8:45!" Wyatt: to a girl "Think you could pair me with her?" girl nods. Jonesy: "Permission to launch! Be in the UFO at 8:40 sharp." Nikki "See? Mini Make-Out Golf helps the whole community." Caitlin: Jonesy "Hey. Think I could meet Bradford?" points to the guy of her choice, who nods. Jonesy: "Totally! Be in the UFO at 8:40." runs off squealing with joy. Jonesy: himself "Genius." ---- enters the UFO. She comes across her date, and they kiss. Caitlin: happy "Wow." Wyatt: shocked "CAITLIN?!?" Caitlin: "WYATT?!?" ---- The opening credits roll. The title of this episode is '''Great Expectations' ---- ''walks up to the table, flipping through a wad of bills. Jonesy: "Mini Make-Out Golf: best idea ever." Wyatt "So, how was the tongue wrestling?" doesn't respond. "C'mon, man! Did you get her number?" Wyatt: "Yeah. I, uh...got it." Jonesy: "Nice! How about you, Caitlin? Tonsil hockey, good times?" Caitlin: "Oh, it was–something." Wyatt: looking at Caitlin "Uh–forgot to–wash my hands. Seeya!" runs off. Caitlin exhales. Nikki: "Okay, what is with you two?" phone beeps. Jen: "EEE! Yes! Travis is coming home today! EEEE!" Jonesy: "Travis the superjock? Can you make him hang out with me this time? I'll be cool, I swear!" Jen: "Sorry, but when I'm not helping Coach with his stupid baseball promotion, he and I are gonna be joined at the hip!" skates up with a young blonde girl behind him on the skateboard. Jude: "Dudes, say hola to my cuz Jade." Nikki, Caitlin, and Jen: "Hi Jade!" Jude: "Our folks are hitting some town called Mexico, so she's here for a week." out a billfold "All expenses paid." Jonesy: "I haven't seen you since you were riding around on a tricycle. Don't you owe me five bucks?" Jade: "Gonesy–I mean, Jonesy–" blushes. Jonesy laughs. Jonesy: "Gonesy's what she always used to call me." stares at Jonesy with a dreamy look in her eyes. ---- is wearing a giant baseball glove. Jen: "Ugh, stupid baseball promotion! One hundred and seventy-two minutes until I get to hook up with Travis again! One hundred and seventy...one! C'mon, time!" and Nikki walk into the store, see Jen, and double over with laughter. Jen walks over to them. Jen: annoyed "Thanks for the support!" Caitlin: "Okay, I'm in major need of advice. How should I put this. Wyatt and I...we sort of...kissed." Jen: "Whoa!" Nikki: "What? I knew something was up with you two!" Caitlin: "It was at the makeout golf thingy. Jonesy put us together by accident! But you know the crazy part?" Jen: "Other than swapping spit with one of your oldest friends?!?" Caitlin: "The kiss was beyond incredible. Best kiss ever!" Nikki: "Wait a minute. Wyatt, world's greatest kisser? Didn't see that coming." Caitlin: "I know, right? But that kiss, it was so...so...so impossible to describe!" Coach Halder: "Masterson, think fast!" heaves a gigantic baseball at her. Jen topples over. Caitlin: "Ooh, that's what the kiss felt like!" ---- Jade, Jude, and Wyatt are inside the game store. Jude: laughing "What? No way!" Jonesy: "A perfect kiss with Caitlin?" Wyatt: "I know! But I could never risk actually dating her, right?" Jude: "Why not? She always smells like lemons and marshmallows." Wyatt: "Plus I'm a romantic failure!" Jonesy: "True." Jade: up a game "Jonesy, look, I'm on the bonus level!" Wyatt: "I've never even thought about Caitlin in that way before. And she is pretty great." Jude: "Love works in mysterious ways, bro." Jade: singsong "Jonesy, I'm beating your high score." Jonesy: another game system "No one beats me at Zombie Zebras." begins playing. Wyatt: "Hello? A little support over here?" Jonesy: "The zebras, they're–look, bottom line, Caitlin knows you too well. You won't be able to get away with anything. Trust me." phone rings, and he answers. "Nikki? No, I am not wasting my day playing video games!" Jade: winning "Woohoo!" says something to Jonesy. Jonesy: his phone "Busted. See?" ---- runs through the mall with a smile on her lips. She checks the time. Jen: "Finally!" is waiting by the fountain. He sees Jen. Travis: waving "Jen!" Jen: "Eee!" a crowd gathers around Travis. They are looking for autographs and attention. Jen skids to a stop just outside the congregation. She takes out her phone and calls. Travis: autographs "Hey, it was awesome to almost see you!" Jen: "Oh Travis, I missed you so much!" Travis: "Me too! Oops, hang on." another call "Yeah? Kay. There in five." to Jen "Sorry, it never stops. Catch up later?" Jen: "Yeah. I want to hog you all to myself." Travis: "Well tonight I'm all yours. Mmmmwah!" Jen: "Mmmmwah!" hang up. Jen sighs happily as Travis and his entourage walk away. ---- is putting things in his coffee when Caitlin walks into Grind Me. Wyatt: "Oh! Uh, I was just–caffiene boost." Caitlin: "Yeah, I'm–y'know, break time, so–" Wyatt: "Oh, sure! Long day, gotta do it!" Caitlin: "Um, ten sugars might be enough." Wyatt: "Huh? Oh, right." tosses the scoop away and turns his wrist to look at his watch, overturning his coffee cup on the way. "Well, I should probab–" hot coffee splatters on his crotch. "Neeerrrpp!" Caitlin: "Are you okay?!?" Wyatt: "Never better." Caitlin: "So, about–you know." Wyatt: "Yeah. Uh, that went weird, huh?" Caitlin: "Well it was definitely unexpected." Wyatt: "Well I hope you don't think I set it up." Caitlin: "No, no! Of course not!" Wyatt: "'Cause I would never do that to you." Caitlin: "Sure, I mean–never?" Wyatt: "Obviously it was a total screwup." Caitlin: offended "Total screwup?!?" Wyatt: "I just mean it was a mistake!" Caitlin: "Well I thought it was spectacular!" in her eyes "But if that's how you feel, maybe we should just stay away from each other so we don't make another mistake!" turns and runs away. Wyatt: "Caitlin, wait!" runs out of the store. "How do I mess things up so badly so quickly?" ---- and Jonesy are on the golf course. Jade skates by. Jade: "Jonesy..." Nikki: Jade goes past "By the way, just in case you're blind and clueless, that girl is totally crushing on you." Jonesy: "Well of course she is. I'm awesome." Nikki: "Deluded and egomaniacal. What's not to love?" ---- is back in her baseball glove costume when Travis walks in. She quickly gets rid of it. Coach Halder: in shock "Travis is back? Why didn't you tell me? My hair's a mess!" pats it into place. "I feel very pretty today, I feel like I'm top of my game!" Halder walks away. Travis walks up to the counter. Jen: "Coach might be one of those fans you eventually put a restraining order on." Travis: "Yeah, this celebrity thing sure brings out the weird in people. But forget him." and Jen kiss. Suddenly, Travis's phone beeps. Travis: "Aw, nuts. I have to meet a rep about an endorsement deal. Gotta go. Dinner?" Jen: "Definitely." leaves. Jen sighs happily, rests her elbows on the counter, and watches him leave. Suddenly, Coach Halder's sigh is heard. He's in the same position as Jen. Coach Halder: "I hear ya, sister. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em." ---- and Nikki are sitting by the fountain. Jade hands Jonesy a CD. Jonesy: "Modern Currant's new CD? Thanks, Jadester!" Nikki: "Uh, hate to break it to ya, Jade, but Jonesy's taken." Jade: irritated "It's just a gift." Nikki: "Oh, sure, no, of course. Great pick too." Jonesy "They've been your favorite band since, what, Grade 4?" Jade: "No. Jonesy first heard Modern Currant the summer after Grade 5. I know everything about Jonesy." Nikki: "I'm not sure that's something you should be proud of." Jade: "Wanna bet I know more than you?" Nikki: "You're ten. That's okay." Jade: "Does Jonesy like ketchup or relish on his hot dogs?" Nikki: "Ketchup, obviously." Jade: "Neither. He's all about the mustard." Jonesy: "I do love the yellow stuff." Jude: "One point for the mini-bra!" Jade: "What's his favorite movie?" Nikki: "Dragon Thunder." Jade: "So wrong! Rebel Alien Assault." Jonesy: "Ha! Right again!" Nikki: "Yeah, well, well, why don't you ask me something less trivial." Jade: "Okay. What's Jonesy's blood type?" Nikki: "What?!?" Jade: "He needs blood, and it's all down to you. What's his type?" Jonesy: "Hurry, before I bleed to death!" Nikki: "Uh–um–F negative?" Jade: "Ennh! It's AB. But Jonesy can receive blood from any other blood group." Jonesy: "I did not know that." Nikki: "Okay, blood type? That's just weird." Jude: "Jade is a very special little dudette." Jonesy: "And on the bright side, if I suddenly need a hot dog and a blood transfusion, now you're prepared!" Nikki: "Ugh." ---- and Jen are at El Sporto's. Travis is looking at his phone and typing on it. Jen: "Um...do you think you could pay an eensy bit of attention to me?" Travis: "Sorry, I know this is annoying." waitress skates up. Waitress: "Hi Travis. Can I have your autograph?" Travis: "Sure, here you go." signs. Jen: muttering "Maybe I should ask for an autograph." Travis: "Anyway–" phone beeps. "Ugh, my buds are mad I still haven't seen them!" Jen: "Yeah, I know how they feel." Travis: "Okay, okay, I'm turning it off. See?" turns off the phone and sets it down. Another phone rings. "That would be my emergency phone." looks at it. "Aw, man! No time for dessert." Jen: "You haven't even had dinner! Can't we have five uninterrupted minutes together?" Travis: "Let me get this out of the way, and I swear, tomorrow will be all about you." Jen: "I'm gonna hold you to that." kiss. Travis: "I'll make it all up to you tomorrow, Jenny. You'll see." walks away, and Jen sighs. Their waitress skates up. Jen: "I'll take his to go." ---- is picking at Travis's food while she sits with Caitlin. Jen: "Travis can't give me five minutes, but he can sign every hot girl's shirt!" Caitlin: "Autographs mean nothing. Wyatt hasn't had a lemonade all day! He's buying from somewhere else, I just know it." Jen: "C'mon, it can't be that serious. Just talk to him." Caitlin: "I can't even face him after last time." phone rings. She answers. Nikki: "Hey, how's Caitlin doing?" covers the phone. Jen: Caitlin "Uh, bad reception, I'm just gonna–" moves to another part of the food court. "She's too embarrassed to go anywhere near Wyatt! We have to do something!" Nikki: "This calls for an intervention." ---- and Jen have hidden behind one of the potted trees near the fountain. Jen: "Commencing Operation: Facetime! Start dialing." and Nikki take out their phones. Each makes a call. Caitlin: answering "Hello?" Wyatt: answering "Hello?" Jen and Nikki: "Jude broke his leg by the fountain! Come quick!" hang up. Caitlin: "Jude did what?!?" Wyatt: "How'd he–" rushes over to the fountain while Jen and Nikki watch. Caitlin: "Jude! Where is–gah!" spots Wyatt and starts running away. Wyatt: "Wait! I'm so sorry about before." Caitlin: away "You said what you meant." Wyatt: "No I didn't. The kiss was amazing, but–I don't want to wreck our friendship." Caitlin: "Well, not doing anything about it is sort of wrecking it anyway, so–" Wyatt: "Maybe we should–" Caitlin: "Stop fighting and go with it?" Wyatt: "Like, on a date? I guess we could." Caitlin: "Then it's a date!" Jen: "Yes! They're talking." sound distracts the spies, and they look over to see Jonesy walking around in brand new basketball shoes. Strangely, the shoes are playing music. Nikki: "Nice shoes. Do they come with volume controls?" Jonesy: "Very funny. Jade gave them to me." Jen: "How does she afford those? When I was a kid, I gave people handmade cards and painted rocks." Jonesy: "Guess she found them. And they just happen to be the perfect size." Nikki: "Has it occurred to you that she might be shoplifting?" Jonesy: "I can't believe you'd even think that about my little Jade!" Nikki: "Ugh, you're too blind to see it because she's got a crush on you!" Jonesy: "Well you're jealous of a ten-year-old!" storms off. Jade, watching through binoculars, chuckles. Jade: "She's so mad. And he's so mine." ---- is sitting on a bench, waiting for Travis. Jen: "Aw." phone rings. "Where are you? Today was supposed to be my day, all day!" Travis: "I know, I know, I'm sorry. How about lunch?" Jen: "How about forget it!" hangs up, throws the phone in the trash, and walks away. Travis calls back just as Coach Halder passes the garbage can. Coach Halder: "Travis!" clears his throat and picks up. "Hello? Yes, this is Coach Halder. What? Jen?" comes back. "She's here just a second." hands over the phone, and Jen hangs up. "He used to be my right-hand man, my tight-end squeeze. But now, his heart is somewhere else." leaves. Jen: paranoid "Or maybe with someone else!" ---- skates up to the table. Jude: "So, you guys going on a date?" Wyatt: "Yeah." Caitlin: "Uh-huh." Jude: away "Cool." following Jude, skates up to the table while wearing sunglasses. Jade: "Here. Now we're twinsies." hands Jonesy a matching pair of shades. Jonesy: "Sweet! Thanks!" skates away. Jonesy puts the glasses on and smiles. Nikki stares at him accusingly. "Oh come on! She found two matching pairs of really cool shades. Doesn't make her a shoplifter." Nikki: up "Fine. If you refuse to see the truth, I'll just have to prove it." ---- is spying on Travis, who is taking pictures with his fans. Her phone rings. Jen: "Yello." Nikki: "So, how's the day-long date going?" Jen: "It's not. He blew me off again. Travis is cheating on me, I know it! And I am so going to bust him." Nikki: "Hel-lo, jump to conclusions much? Trust me, stalking is a seriously bad idea." beat turns on inside Spin This, where Nikki is hiding to spy on Jade. Jen: "Whatever. What's with the music, where are you?" turns her binoculars on the store. "Huh. Well look who's stalking now." Nikki: "What? I'm just waiting for Jade to lift another present for Gonesy so I can prove I'm right." passes Nikki's hiding place. Jen looks back towards Travis. Jen: "Well I'm going in. Over and out." ---- is being interviewed by the escalators by a roving mob of reporters when a man in a brown mustache, trench coat, and hat cuts in. Jen: her voice "Jim Jimmerson for the–news. When you're not in training, who do you hang around with?" prods Travis's face with the microphone. Travis: "Who do I–hang around with?" Jen: "That's right! What's her name?" mustache shoots off of her face and hits Travis in the eye. Travis: "Ah! My eye!" creeps away, and the other reporters surround Travis again. ---- Jade, and Jonesy are playing games at the arcade when Wyatt walks up to his male friends. Wyatt: "Hi guys. One hour to date time." Jonesy: "You're not wearing that, are you?" Wyatt: "Why wouldn't I?" Jonesy: "'Cause you're going on a first date? With Caitlin?" Jude: "She's all about the styling." game ends, and he checks his pocket. "Aw, man, I'm out of quarters! And parental coinage?" Wyatt: "I knew a date was a bad idea." Jonesy: "C'mon! You're just a shirt, brush, and free sample of cologne away from being totally locked and loaded." Wyatt: "I need a coffee." leaves. ---- is by Taj Mahome Video, talking on his phone. Jen spies on him from behind a movie poster. Travis: "Great. See you at the fountain at six." leaves. Jen calls Nikki. Nikki: "Hey." Jen: "He's meeting the other woman at six! I bet it's that sleazy waitress." Nikki: "Talk to him already! Stalking always backfires. And don't just hang up on me–" hangs up. Nikki frowns and then moves on to spy on Jade, who is lifting something from Things That Beep. Nikki: Jade "Ahem, going somewhere?" Jade: "To the cash register?" Nikki: "Oh yeah, I'm so sure. The jig's up, Jade. You're coming with me." her out of the store "I'm gonna introduce you to a rent-a-cop who will scare you straight." Nikki tries to exit the store, the alarms go off, as she is still holding the stolen goods. Ron walks up. Nikki: Ron "What? Jade was trying to steal this." Jade: "You're the one holding it." Nikki: "No no, only because I took it away from her!" Ron: "Blaming your misdeeds on this sweet, innocent, golden child? Pathetic." takes the box. Nikki: "What? N-no-no-no, trust me, she's been stealing stuff all week for my boyfriend. My boyfriend." Ron: Nikki "You're going downtown, missy. Way downtown." Jade "And you, stay adorable." drags Nikki away. Nikki: "What? C'mon, I'm innocent! She set me up!" leaves with Nikki. Jude skates up to his cousin. Jude: "Hey bra. Do you have any of that money the parentals left for us?" Jade: "Uh. No." Jude: "Bummer...we kinda need it to like, eat and stuff...how long can you go without food?" ---- walks towards their meeting place dressed in a suit and tie. His hair is heavily moussed. Wyatt: "Oh! Hey, Caitlin." Caitlin: normally "Wyatt! Oh, you look so...nice!" sneezes. "Is that cologne?" Wyatt: "Yeah." sneezes. "Indefensible for men. Too much?" sneezes. He sighs. "Shall we go in?" ---- is sitting in mall jail. She sighs, takes out her phone, and makes a call. Jonesy: answering "This is the Jonester!" Nikki: "I need you to come bail me out." Jonesy: "No can do. Making the course nice and purty for the next singles night." Nikki: "Yeah? Well I'm in jail because a ten-year-old HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!!!" Jonesy: "On second thought, this can wait, I'll be right there." ---- and Caitlin are having dessert at Cafe Coeur Brisé. The atmosphere is pretty poor, given that everyone is breaking up and all around them can be heard crying couples. Wyatt: "So..." Caitlin: awkwardly "So. Why the breakup restaurant? Are you trying to tell me something?" Wyatt: "No, just a classic case of self-sabotage. Wanna...pay up and head to the mini-golf course now?" Caitlin: "Anything but this!" ---- is wearing her glove costume again. She checks the time on her phone. Jen: "It's almost six. Time to go to the fountain and catch Travis in the act." tries to get out of her costume but finds the zipper is stuck. "Stupid zipper! Ugh, no time!" ---- runs into the mall security office. Jonesy: "One knight in shining armor, coming up! Hey, where's Ron?" Jade: up behind the desk "He's on patrol, and I'' have his keys." '''Jonesy:' "Great, so you can let Nikki out." Jade: "That's gonna cost you." Jonesy: admiringly "Man, you don't miss a trick. Okay, I'll give you anything you want." Jade: "I want you to be my boyfriend." Jonesy: "Anything but that." turns to go. "Okay, okay, I'll be your boyfriend!" Nikki: "What?!?" Jade: "Woo!" dancing "I've got a boyfriend, I've got a boyfriend!" tosses the keys at Jonesy and leaves. Jonesy: worried "How am I gonna get out of this?" Nikki: "Ahem! I'm the one in jail, remember?" inserts the key into the lock. Ron comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. Jonesy: "It's not what it looks like! Okay, it's sort of what it looks like!" Nikki: "Jade stole your keys! She set us up!" Ron: "Stop blaming everything on that cutie-patootie, you cockroaches!" Jonesy: "Hey, security cameras don't lie." Jonesy, Ron walks over to his bank of monitors and checks the cameras. Sure enough, one of them has a video of Jade hugging Ron and surreptitiously picking his pocket. Jonesy: "You got to admit, the kid is gifted." gets up and walks over to Nikki. Ron: "I-b-it appears I owe you an-an apology. Ahem. Clearly, she's a pro." Nikki: "I'll settle for you letting me out." sets Nikki free. ---- and Wyatt are on the course. Wyatt: "Have you ever wondered what makes a golf green so–green?" Caitlin: him "Let's do this." two pull each other close and kiss. When they finish, though, they look at each other oddly. Caitlin: "Um, did you feel any sparks?" Wyatt: "Maybe we should try again." try again and get the same result. Caitlin: "Aren't you into me anymore?" Wyatt: "I wasn't into you the first time we kissed. I thought I was with that redhead from Huntington's." Caitlin: "And I thought I was with Bradford." Wyatt: "Maybe the only reason we felt sparks is because we thought we were kissing our dream dates." Caitlin: surprised "You mean–" Wyatt: "Yeah. The best kiss ever was all in our heads." Caitlin: "Oh, wow! No offense, but–what a relief!" and Wyatt laugh. Wyatt: "Yeah. Worst date ever." ---- runs up to the escalators but can't stop in time and falls down them. Jen: bouncing "Aah! Ah! Oh! Aaah! Ow..." Travis: the businessman he's speaking with "Can we finish the interview later?" rushes over to check on Jen. He helps her up. Travis: "Was that you in reporter costume before?" angry "Why are you spying on me?" Jen: "You kept blowing me off! And–I might have a teensy problem with paranoia?" Travis: sighing "This isn't working, Jenny." Jen: "I can do better, I swear! I just need you to give me a little attention!" Travis: "I know, but–I don't know when I'm ever gonna have time for us. And that's totally not fair to you." Jen: "Then I guess...it's...over." Travis: "Aw, Jenny." tries to hug her, but can't find a way to get his arms around the costume. Eventually, he sighs and settles for a goodbye kiss. "Um...See ya." Jen: "Sure. Absolutely." herself "Don't cry. Whatever you do–" welling up "–don't–" starts crying. ---- is sitting at the table with her friends. Jen: crying "My first real relationship, and I messed it all up!" Caitlin: "At least now you know never to date a celebrity. They're so self-absorbed." walks up to the table and sets a carton of ice cream in front of Jen. Jude skates up, Jade following. Jude: "Go on. Tell 'em, bra." Jade: "I kinda used our eating money to buy your gifts, so...I need to return them and get the money back." Jonesy: over the sunglasses and shoes "Aw, I was just starting to break 'em in." Jade: "Wanna play mini-golf later?" Jonesy: "Nah, I kinda got canned when they found out about the makeout golf." Jade: "Fired again? What is that, like eighty-six times now? Sorry, Jonesy. I think I need a more stable boyfriend. It's over." Jude: "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! You guys were going out?!?" Jen: ice cream "Not another breakup!" begins crying. Jade: Nikki "He's all yours. But if I were you, I'd aim a little higher." Nikki: "She's got a point." Jonesy: "Hey!" sulks. Category:Season 4